Uggg Come Home Already

Mr. Flee has been gone for 8 days now and won't be back until Friday. First he was speaking at the Microsoft TechEd conference in Florida.. now he's in Georgia visiting family. I was a military wife for so-and-so years and lived through deployment after deployment. Once we were apart for nearly 18 months. It's barely been a week and I'm freaking out over here. I'm not sleeping until daylight and I can't seem to get anything done. I miss him terribly. =(

On a happy note I've finished the spare room. I still need to remove a bulky ass monitor but for once I've completed a project. Yayyy me. I painted some pretty birds on the wall. (The walls are light ice blue but don't appear that way in pictures.) I ordered 2 blankets from UrbanOutfitters (go check out their home stuff... soooo cute) and took one apart and made curtains and pillowcases. I'm so fucking domesticated.

Me Look Pretty One Day

.. because I don't feel that way right now.
I probably have one of the worst self-esteems ever.
Sometimes people solidify what I'm already feeling about myself and it sucks.
*le sigh*

Pwnd, Syke and Epic Fail

1:43am--- Received email that certain store had Wii Fit in stock.
1:45am--- Hit add to cart.. fill out the lengthy info.. hit send.. get excited and

Sorry, this item is currently out-of-stock.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I'll probably shart later.

This would be a shocker of a headline: Chubby Girl Doesn't Enjoy Eating!!!!!

I really don't care for food as much as you'd think. It is so.very.hard. for me to cook something for breakfast or lunch. I enjoy eating dinner but I could totally do without the other two meals.

I picked up some Weetabix this past weekend, something I've never tried before. Earlier I decided to root around the pantry for food. Hmmm I'll have a bowl of this. Ok, I should also mention that I'm lactose intolerant and choose the soy option.... but soy milk also doesn't exactly agree with me.

It's been 1.5 hours later and I've already visited Captain Commode twice. Yes, I poo. Everybody poops. Some talk about it, some don't. I fall under the first category.

I had to check the nutritional information just to make sure it didn't contain a laxative. Wow. Just wow.

Their Yup Runneth Over

So I had this post going and then I locked up. It was a brief story in regards to a few years back when someone referred to my husband and I as yuppies to my Dad. He was so pissed about it that it's become a running joke with us. At the time I thought, "Well shit, I've been called worse." until it struck me as to what it really means.

JK and I grew up in a town with kids who had "yuppies" for parents. Both of our parents were hard working people and struggled to raise us the best they could. We always thought that our circle of friends were rich. Now I come to realize that they were pretend rich. Sure they had nice things but looking back I'm almost certain that those things came from grandparents and credit cards. It's all in perception. Hell I used to think that only rich people had garages and central air... folks like ourselves had carports and window units. Years ago I cracked up friends when discussing pajamas. One said that she had bought a cute set from the PX and I responded with "Wow that's fancy! Only rich people have a matching set of PJs.". Think about it though. How many top and bottom sets of PJs do you have... or do you just wear a tshirt and bottoms? Hahhhaha With all of this said, I believe this to be a part of why I have this looming feeling of not being worthy. Not completely worthless... just unworthy of some things in life that most people take for granted.

I have to say that I'm pretty unsophisticated in my ways. I was raised to act properly and southern graces and hospitality come naturally but I will never been seen acting like I'm something special. I can't stand this. It gets under my skin like an earwig in an ear. Wriggling and gnawing at me until I nearly freak out.

I probably should just end this post now because somehow someone from 'one of the websites I belong to' will see this and catch on. On said website you can change your status. Every day I change mine, mocking a random person with their lame attempt to show their sophistication, whether it be something along the lines of So-and-so is sipping Chardonnay on their veranda or So-and-so is going to such-and-such place to have the time of their lives. You know, because all of us uncool folks will be impressed with their deeds. The rest of us will want to be them when we grow up and how sad that the life we were given consists of ramen noodles and for fun we sit in the back yard and poke each other with sticks. So I'll change mine to something like I'm having a glass of water in the outhouse or I'm going grocery shopping, in town, 5 blocks away. I'm an ass like that.

I really get annoyed when such people act like the general public doesn't "Get" things that interest them. They act as if they discovered it all in the first place. Oh I totally know what you're talking about... it's not that I don't get it, it's that I really don't give a fuck. When I say that I don't like sushi don't tell me that I've 'just not had the good stuff'. I don't care if the shit is so fresh that the goddamned fish just jumped onto my plate... I don't like it. If I say that I don't care for Tom Waits it's not because I don't get his style of music and lyrically storytelling. To me, his stories are compiled of random kitschy words and phrases like Katmandu and jackaroo accompanied by annoying sounds of blaring trumpets and footsteps. See, I know who Tom Waits is. I just don't care for him. If you ask me how I liked the movie.. oh excuse me, the film.. don't get your panties in a wad because I say I hated it then verbally attack my intelligence by saying things like 'Well not eeeeveryone understands the filmmakers innuendos like I do.'. You look stupid when you do this. Maybe, just maybe, I noticed AND understood. I have a southern accent but I'm not deaf and dumb. The film sucked, ok!

It's my opinion and it belongs to me. I have a new motto. "It's your guilt, not mine."

People amuse me and yuppies amaze me.

Fancy Pants

I've recently decided that just because I have a little chub going on that I shouldn't allow myself to look like a troll on a daily basis. I've spent the last few years of my life off of a clearance rack. Why? Mainly because I never feel worthy enough of anything more. Will I still be hitting the sales? Of course, but I won't be limiting myself any longer.

Today I purchased some fancy pants. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bragging. Well sorta. I'm bragging on the fact that today I felt worthy of such luxury items. For the first time in years I tried on a pair of jeans and smiled. Despite the muffin top and having to stand up completely straight, I smiled. A real honest-to-Maude-edges-of-mouth-turned-upwards happy smile.
Not only did the jeans look good on me but so did the smile. I could get used to that.

Like my bestest pal I've also decided to start treating myself as if I matter. This, my friends, was a first step. Yeeeeeeehaw mother fuckers!